My irony

Yesterday, at midnight I made a long phone call with my boyfriend. At first, We were enjoying talking about what we did and what happened yesterday each other. I was really worried about our future, and Im not good at speaking out my real feelings ,and I always tell something that is opposite to my heart inadvertently. Also yeaterday, I said to him "I don't want to see you." but I tHink in my mind, I really want to meet him. but I couldn't say like that. Usually he says like this " Oh my god! Plese don't say such a sad word. Let's meet tommorow? right?".So I guessed that he would do as usual. But Yesterday is so differnt. He saied " Ok! Well, Shall we meet since I wont be busy yet? I don't know when the time comes.Are you OK?". I was very surpriesed and I apologized him as soon as he just finished talking. I only think I want to see him, but my lips told a lie,and he was angry to me. Isn't it an irony?